macauly's Xanga

Simply Put

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 21:55:09 GMT

My sight was crystal clear,

Untill you came in view.

You entered and left so quickly

Leaving me with nothing to say

So many words were left unspoken

So many hearts were left unscathed

Rip me apart, tear down my walls

With you around, I become deffensless...

You thought of me as if I were something great

the only reason I was able to be that

Was because you were there beside me

So many thoughts go through my head

When I look at you

But I see you and you see him

And then I know we can not be

The way I look you

Is the way you look at him

so as long as you are happy

I am happy too.

So Complicated....

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 06:26:50 GMT

There we were, looking at each other....
There something about you...
Something I despise...
And something I almost love...
I can't say I love it,
The word love means too much to call it that
who knows, maybe it could be love...
I sure don't, know that is...
You drive me crazy,
We see each other through the same eyes
And we think of each other in the same way
You do something, I react, you think I'm mad
I do something, you react, I think you're mad
Two different people, sharing one thought
Two different people, with eyes filled with wonders
Lost with each other, in a place unknown to both
Sure, this makes no sense, and maybe never will
but it was worth the time, worth the effort....
I can't pull you away... friends don't do that
I don't know that I'd want to if I could...
I want you every bit as much as I don't
And I think you want me every bit as much as you don't
So... ? Do we move on, or stay here....
And whatever we do, do we do it together or alone....

Why am I just her Friend?

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 04:23:33 GMT

That girl across the street,
walking past my house
I saw her, but no one else did

That girl at the store
shopping with her mom
I saw her, but no one else did

That girl down the block
going into that house
I saw her, but no one else did

Everywhere I look, there she is
I see her all the time
But no one else does

Is she just a figment of my imagination?
No, that can't be it, she's more.
I know she exists

She's real, And so are her feelings,
And her heart, And her mind,
And her soul, not just her body

And that's what they see
A shell, an empty vessel
Just her body, alone nothing more

They dont listen when she speaks
They dont care about her day
they just want their peice of her

She comes to me, when she's hurt
She leans on me when she's crying
She says I'm so sweet, unlike the other guys

So, let me ask you this,
If I'm so sweet
Why am I just her friend...

If She Only Knew

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 04:02:59 GMT

If she only knew the way I feel
The feelings I hold in
The things I leave unsaid
The urges I dont give in
If she only knew how hard it is
for me to look at her
and whatch as she stares at him
Towards a future so unheard
If she only knew how much I long
For her to look my way
Time drifts slowly by me,
And her memory falls away
Her body, though intriuging,
Is not what's caught my eye
Her personality and words
Are the things that keep me captive as days go bye
If she only knew of this feeling I call love
Maybe she'd return it to me
But maybe she knows the feeling
Just she doesnt feel it for me

Life Sucks.... so what else is new?

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 17:49:05 GMT

wow.... so apparently I am now finding Xanga worth my time again.... but this sucks.... my car breaks down.... i miss work, i got it fixed in Findlay, but had to paint for it to be free, and i was wearing nice clothes... now my insurance is off, so i cant deliver tonight or tomorrow or sunday. so I'm out like $120 or so.... of course its money i didnt have before so it shouldn't really matter.... plus I think I'm going to have to break up with my girlfriend.... I'm applying at the temp agency to get into a factory.... man so much seems to be changing so fast, I am just not ready for it.... I just want to escape life for about 3 - 4 days... I mean come on.... I think everyone does at some point or another.... please world.... just let me leave for the moon or something.... I'm almost at a point where I want some car to come along and hit me, not kill me or anything, but just put me in a coma for a week.... man, then again I've always wanted to try shit like that.... just to know what it feels like for people like that.... like tie up my legs and give me a wheel chair... put a blindfould on my eyes.... take my voice away, or even take my hearing.... just for a little while not forever.... anyways... well.... I don't know what more to type.... other than.... right now.... life... just.... SUCKS!!!!

L8er Dayz

Derrick

Finally a REAL update!!!

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 19:24:20 GMT

hey people, whats up? I dont really seem to update this site alot.... you can check out my myspace site if you want. its www.myspace.com/macauly06 but i dont really update that one either.... but I do check it alot more often.... anyways quick update since last update. Sara and I are friends, not sure how it happened.... we almost went out, then didnt. Then I think I dated Tab once or twice since then.... her mom doesnt like me anymore... I dated Alyssa twice, she's um... well, I'll be nice... I went to camp, saw some old friends, met some new ones.... went to kentucky with my church, the night before we left I quit Reino's... I work at golden Crown.... I had a chevy, wrecked it, got a ford thunderbird.... went back to kentucky, but with my mom and bob this time.... it wasnt really that much fun the first night, the second was okay i guess.... I have a girlfriend and I love her.... but yall pry dont know her so yeah.... um.... I hang with Craig and Adam mostly and I no longer have a working cell phone.... i dont know what else to type..... but yeah....

l8er dayz

Derrick

From a guys view....

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 05:02:20 GMT

I totally agree with this shit....

From a guys point of view

We don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till the morning.
____________________________________________________
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we fuckin mean it. so take it.

Don't tell us we're wrong.

We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
____________________________________________________
Yeah, you can quote me.

Push us down on the couch and make a move once in a while. We like that aggressiveness about you and we like the unexpected. When we know you're really happy, it makes us happy too.
____________________________________________________
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood im in.

LET US PAY FOR YOU!

DON'T "FEEL BAD"

We enjoy doing it (Paying for you).

It's expected.

Smile and say "thank you."
____________________________________________________
Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know nobody's looking we'll be more impressed.
____________________________________________________
You don't have to get dressed up for us.

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.

honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up

____________________________________________________
Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.
____________________________________________________
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

***Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartny is in front of us.

(MY EDIT:)
In fact, don't talk about how 'hott' any guy is in front of us.

***It's boring, and we don't care.
You have girlfriends for that.
____________________________________________________
Whatever happened to the word "handsome"/"beautiful"

I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey
handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of.

on the other hand im not saying I wouldn't like it either ; )
____________________________________________________
Girls, I cannot stress this enough:
IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCH HIS SORRY, DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION SELF, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT

Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.

Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the
eyes....and say "i love you" ...

....AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!

Give the nice guys a chance!!!!!!

**************************************************

Guys repost this if you agree

Girls repost this if you think it's cute

Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 05:33:16 GMT

I went to glowbowl tonight. Sara came up and said hi, I was an ass and blew her off saying if that was all she was going to say to me, then not to even bother. Chelsea told me that Jorge and Sara broke up. I saw a glimmer of hope, called my girlfriend and broke up with her hoping for a chance to get bakc with Sara. But I walked up to Sara and she looked as if she was going to talk to me until I opened my mouth and said "Just watch who you date." And I said it with an attitude. Now she's dating Joey, if I hadn't been an ass, and had beat Joey to the punch, she might be dating me now. Even though I said I'd never go back out with her, I still like her. I like Morgan too... but given the choice between the two, I won't say which one I'd choose...

~I love **(HER)**~

Derrick

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 05:53:16 GMT

Tonight was a waste of time, more or less. Tasha and Tab made stupid decisions, they should've stayed home. I got in Joey's face, not only did he not defend himself, he didn't even defend Sara, yeah great boyfriend huh? He pushed me once, and that was when Freddy came up and I asked if he needed Freddy's help. When Sara and I were dating, it took two seconds for her to hug me, five seconds for her to kiss me, and a minute for us to makeout, and she was glued to my side everytime we were together. She didn't even touch Joey at all tonight, atleast not that I saw. So yeah, you all know it, she may not love me, but she definately doesn't love him, he's just her rebound, he doesn't understand it from me, guess he'll find out on his own. Freddy and Joey were gonna fight me, but guess they backed out, I was outside the bowling alley, they didn't say a word, just like they didn't back themselves up inside the bowling alley. Yeah, I talk shit, but they don't do anything about it, so why should I stop. Sara may not know it, although I think she does, deep inside, but I am the best guy she's ever had, as well as the best she'll ever have especially if she keeps dating guys like Joey, and the only reason Joey is still with her even though he knows she's cheating on him, is because he knows with the way he is, and the way he looks, he will never find another girl who comes close to her beauty. Or in his mind, her hottness, he's not in love with her, he's in love with her body. Oh yeah, I love ~her~!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 22:10:50 GMT

You’re everything I’ve been looking for

All I could desire

Though I’m with someone else

You’re still the one who lights my fire

At night I try to dream

About the girl whose hand I hold
but you’re the only one I see

As the night grows slowly old

I’ll wish on every star

And count each grain of sand

And watch every drop of rain

Till I can hold your hand

Your picture’s in my wallet

That watch is on my wrist

My mind is filled with memories

And all the times I’ll miss

Life has no meaning anymore

I don’t think I want to survive

But though you are not with me

The memories keep alive

As days go by, my feelings change

As I’m sure they always will

\but once again, night comes again

And your memories stand still

My days are always spent

Thinking of when I’ll be with you

And all I know, is now I pray

That this one wish will come true

I’m not sure why you left me

Because you wouldn’t really say

If I’m not your type,

Why did we last 5 weeks and a day

I’m too sweet, or so I’m told

And nice guys finish last

So maybe if I were a dickhead

I wouldn’t keep falling on my ass

I asked if you wanted me to change

But you said it wouldn’t work

But if I’m so fine the way I am

Then why does being me make me feel like a jerk

Your mother called and yelled at me

So please tell me what I’ve done

Because you’ll talk to those who call you names

But not me who hasn’t called you one

I still think back to that day

And how I could have said no

And all I think is what might’ve been

If only I had done so

You still mean more to me

Than anything in this world

And I’ll always long for the day to come

When you’re once again my girl